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Tuesday, August 21, 2012

I have fallen in love all over again...

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above..."  James 1:17
     
     On September 1, 2004, I went on my very first date with a guy named Michael Westbrook.  When he dropped me off at my apartment after our date that night, I walked in and closed the door...and I knew without a doubt he was the one I would fall in love with and marry.  And I was right ;)  We got married less than a year later on June 17, 2005...and just a couple of months later found out we were going to have our first baby!  
     Gracelyn Alisa Westbrook was born on May 24, 2006.  We didn't find out what if we were having a boy or a girl...we wanted to wait until the moment she got here to know what our child would be.  The very first time I laid eyes on her, I fell head over heels in love.  She was just perfect.  Our perfect little girl.  And the night before Gracelyn's first birthday party, we found out....
     We were going to have another baby!  Once again, we wanted the gender to be a surprise and on January 13, 2008, was the first time I wrapped my arms around our precious baby boy.  I was now in love for the third time with a beautiful, perfect little boy we named James Ayden Westbrook.
     Then on Tuesday, July 17, 2012...my world got even better.  I went in to the hospital on Monday night to be induced the next morning.  Michael and I dropped Gracelyn and Ayden off with my parents then went on to Hattiesburg.  We ate supper at Chili’s, which I had been craving for weeks!  Unfortunately I was so miserable I could barely enjoy it.  By the last few weeks of my pregnancy, I had so many aches and pains in my whole body that I could barely walk.  It was pure misery! I was actually looking forward to going in the hospital so I could do nothing but lay there in a bed!  We drove to the hospital after supper and was admitted to a room.  As soon as I was settled in bed, they hooked me up to the IV and began giving me a penicillin drip.  I had tested positive for Group B Strep, so I had to be given antibiotics all the way through labor so the infection wouldn’t pass through to the baby.  They also gave me some pills to take to begin thinning out my cervix and some Ambien to help me sleep.  The Ambien definitely didn’t help, though, because I slept maybe 30 minutes the whole night.  I began having contractions around 2:30 a.m. I had dilated 4 cm at that time.  With every contraction, I was so worried that my epidural would not work because it never worked with Ayden.  They gave me my epidural around 8 a.m.  Thank the Lord it worked perfectly this time!!   I couldn’t feel anything below my waist, and I was quite happy about that!  The nurses literally had to pick up my legs and move them for me!  I can’t remember what time it was when I began pushing, but I felt absolutely no pain whatsoever.  We heard Braysen Michael Westbrook’s first cries at 12:37 p.m.  The nurse laid him on my chest, and  knew right then I had fallen in love all over again. I was so overcome with emotion…I just couldn’t stop crying.  I looked up at Michael and noticed he couldn’t either J  I looked at Braysen’s precious and perfect face.  He was sticking out his little tongue.  I could’ve held him right there forever.  I never wanted to let go.  He was absolutely perfect.  I had been dreaming of this moment...of holding him in my arms and memorizing everything about him for nine months.  The moment was perfect.  
     My parents brought Gracelyn and Ayden in to see their new little brother for the first time.  The first thing Ayden did was pull a little toy car out of his pocket and said, “Hey, Braysen, I’ve been waiting to show this to you.”  It was precious.   Gracelyn just stared at Braysen.  She didn’t know what to think or how to react. She almost acted scared at first! They each got to hold him for a few minutes. 
     Immediately after I had him, I got a horrible headache…the worst one I’ve ever had.  It would not let up, so the nurse finally gave me a caffeine drip.  I had never heard of that in my life, and unfortunately it didn’t help.  I had to lay flat on my back for the rest of the night and the whole next day.  That was the only way the pain would go away.  But, of course it didn’t matter that I was flat on my back because I had a sweet little boy right by my side the whole time…and Michael was there, too J 
We got to go home on Thursday…and we almost went crazy sitting in that hospital room before we got to leave!  Michael was so bored he started dancing around the room like a ballerina.  It was hilarious.  I even got it on video tape to prove it ;)  By Thursday my headache had let up, but it started hurting again really bad that night when we got home.  The Friday, the pain was almost unbearable.  We had to go back to Hattiesburg that Friday to get Braysen’s bilirubin levels checked, so on the way up there I called the doctor’s office and told them about my headache.  They said I most likely needed to get a blood patch because somehow when I got the epidural the needle made a hole somewhere around my spine and was causing a leakage which caused the headache.  So after taking Braysen’s to get his levels checked, we went to another doctor’s office and I had the blood patch done.  As much as I hate needles, I sure had a lot stuck in me that week!  They had to take blood from an IV in my hand and shoot it into my back to patch up the hole.  It didn’t hurt too bad, but it wasn’t the most pleasant experience of my life either!  It did take care of the headache, though, and so I was very thankful for that!
     I know that my hormones are all over the place right now, but every time I think about my babies growing up, I start crying because it just breaks my heart.  Every day they get another day older...it's another day that just passes by and before I know it, they will all be too old to hold in my arms and rock, too old for me to kiss over and over and over because it becomes addictive...without them getting mad or embarrassed.    I wish that I could just freeze time right this very second, too old for me to snuggle with, too old to crawl in our bed and crawl their way in the space between me and Michael.
      I just love the ages they are right now.  Gracelyn is six and is just like my little best friend.  We can carry on real conversations and laugh with each other, and at the same time, she is still my silly little six-year-old.  She is loving being a big sister. She didn't know how to act when Braysen was first born.  She kind of acted scared and in shock, but now all she wants to do is sit and hold him and help take care of him.   Gracelyn is definitely taking advantage of her summer.  She absolutely loves staying in her pj's all day, laying on the couch, and watching TV!  
     Ayden is four and has the sweetest personality in the world.  Now, of course, sometimes his "other" personality comes out, and he isn't as sweet, LOL, but most of the time he is so loving and giving and caring. He says he wants to be a bush hogger when he grows up. LOL!!  What a dream! ha!!  This morning he pushed the coffee table off of the rug in the living room and started pushing his tractor back and forth.  I asked him what he was doing, and he said, "I'm bush hogging the rug!  Don't you see how tall the grass is?!"  It was so funny.  
   I am so incredibly blessed, and I take that for granted way too often.  I could not ask for sweeter, more precious, more beautiful children.  And all those years I spent dreaming of the man I would marry, my dreams never even came close to how perfect Michael is for me.  
   


























     







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