Such a bittersweet day...

Today was the day I knew would be hard ever since I first held my baby girl on May 24, 2006. Gracelyn started kindergarten. We went to Meet the Teacher last night, and Gracelyn was so excited to see her new classroom. But, this morning, when I kissed her bye and knew I was leaving my little girl at a big school with so many people without me there to take care of her...it just broke my heart...into a million pieces. I'm still supposed to be feeding her a bottle and looking into her eyes as she stares at me and makes those sweet little baby noises. I'm still supposed to be rocking her and singing her to sleep every night. I'm not supposed to be leaving her by herself all day, every day! I need to be there to take care of her if she gets hurt, take up for her if someone is mean to her, tickle her to get her in a good mood when she's upset, wipe her tears when she cries. I was so proud of her, though. When I left her in her classroom this morning, I left in tears...and when I got in my car, the tears kept flowing...and throughout the day, every time I thought about her eating her lunch in the cafetera or playing at recess, the tears would start again...and as I am typing about it, replaying it al in my mind, I sit here with tears rolling down my cheeks again.

Yes, I may be a bit emotional about it, but this is MY baby. I never want to see her hurt or see her heart broken.

I am so thankful, though, that Gracelyn has the absolute sweetest teacher and teacher's assistant in the world. They are so loving and caring, and I know she is taken care of..it just hurts that I'm not the one taking care of her while she's at school. The teacher gave all the mommys a little note today that was sooo sweet (and of course, made me cry more), but it was so thoughtful of her to think about us and what we were going through.