The story of a second grader, a kindergartener, and a sad mommy...

I can't believe it.  Today was Ayden's first day of kindergarten. He was one excited little boy.  I was helping him get dressed bright and early this morning (well, not so bright...it was 5:45!) and  I said, "Ayden today's the day!  You finally get to wear a school uniform!"  He looked at me, his face lit up, and he smiled as big as he possibly could.  Then he threw his arms around me and hugged me.  He was excited about every little thing about starting kindergarten...wearing school clothes, going to recess, eating in the cafeteria, and of course making new friends!  We walked Gracelyn to her class first this morning, and Ayden was singing about Jesus the whole way!  Of course it was a song that he made up!  He loves making up songs.  He's been doing that since he was old enough to talk. We dropped off Gracelyn, and of course, took one last picture of her, and then we headed to Ayden's classroom.  When we walked in, he immediately let go of my hand.  I'm not quite sure how I felt about that!  He was such a big boy.  I feel like I needed him to cling to me...just a little bit! I am so glad he was so brave, but that's my little boy.  I wanted him to want me....to need his mommy.   I think I blew him enough kisses to embarrass him because after his teacher showed him to his seat, he finally just looked at me and whispered, "Mommy!" and gave me that look like it was time for me to go!  I just stared at him for a few minutes through the window beside the door where he couldn't see me.  I watched him sit there and look so innocently at everything around him.  Every second I stood there my heart broke a little more.  And then...I left.  With tears running down my face...and my sweet baby now part of a whole new world where he didn't need me...I left.

Today you let go of my hand.  You let go of my hand and walked into a great big classroom surrounded by people...but to me you were all alone.  All alone because for the first time you didn't have me.  You didn't have me there if you wanted to whisper something in my ear or if you wanted to giggle and tell me something funny.  You didn't have my arms to run to if you wanted to cry.  You're my little boy and my heart is broken because you are entering a scary world and I can't always be right there to take care of you...right there to make sure no one hurts you...right there to make sure your world is safe.  The only thing I can do is pray that God will wrap His loving arms around you and protect you, because He is the one who always has.  But I can promise you one thing.  Today, when we walked in that classroom, your little fingers may have slipped away....and you may have let go of my hand, but you will never...ever...let go of my heart. I love you my little man.  You will always be Mommy's little boy.

 Gracelyn had a great first day!  She acted like she wasn't ready for school to start, but the closer it got, the more excited she was.  She's just not a morning person, and she got really addicted to laying on the couch watching Full House this summer!  I love that she loves Full House so much!  That was my favorite show growing up and I love watching the reruns!  We talk about the characters like we know them personally!  She was excited to see her friends again today, and this year she has three teachers!!  So that was three new people she got to add to her prayers tonight :)

Ayden loved his first day, too!  I think he was so worn out by the time we got home he couldn't even think straight!  He's not used to those early hours!  He said his favorite part of the day was recess, of course, and he was just amazed at how big the cafeteria was!  He did get a little upset that he couldn't go outside and work with Michael this evening because it was getting late, and he had to take a bath and get ready for bed since he has school again tomorrow. He decided all of the sudden that kindergarten really "isn't that much fun" and he doesn't want to go back tomorrow...as if he has a choice! Ha!  Poor baby is just so tired, and he is used to being able to go outside with his daddy, so he didn't like it very much when he had to take a bath instead!  

My new students came today, too!  I had a great day. But I am so tired and can barely hold my eyes open. The first day...well, first few days...are always so exhausting.  I pray my babies have a wonderful day tomorrow...and then it's the weekend we can enjoy together!